My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Two words: blizzard sex
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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