About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
