six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
