At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
