My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize