Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Randomize
