what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
