So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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