I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Randomize
