Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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