So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I'm at about main and main street
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
