How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize