his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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