Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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