Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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