Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
