I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize