My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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