Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize