paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
