Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
