I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
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