Where is the hickey?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I have post one night stand depression
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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