Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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