I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
she woke up with a sticky ear
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize