i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
