i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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