I think I am morally bankrupt
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
