somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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