Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
