Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
