Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
