I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
