so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
