i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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