Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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