it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
