it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
not ubering you a puppy
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
