Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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