New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
