My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
