im six kinds of drunk right now
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
