Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
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