im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
