It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Sext me about skeletons
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
