Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
...so i touched it.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
