Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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