Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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