my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
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