she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
