But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
