end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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