life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
