Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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