Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
