he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
