I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
