if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
