we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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